So... Yesterday, my best friend Jan I went shopping or well we tried. She picked me up around 12:30 and we drove the 30 miles to Panama City Mall. Well since we are known to enjoy eating more than most people, we opted to go the Red Lobster first; based solely on the fact that they have REALLY REALLY good cheese biscuits. So an hour later we had spent $40.00 on lunch and we were much happier. Seeing as how we were at the Mall we went on in. We started in the JC Penney's. I was looking for my daughter some clothes to keep her warm as we are having a small cool spell, it has been around 68 to 70 degrees. To her that is freezing! Anyway after we waded through the crap and went to the boys department and bought her 2 shirts from there. At no point is my five year old wearing a pair of pants on her ass that say "naughty" not now not ever.
We kept looking and found a god-awful denim jumpsuit. Yes your eyes are not deceiving, you just read DENIM JUMPSUIT. We found grown folks jelly shoes. If you are a size 9 and out of elementary school, like me there is never a point when you should have a jelly shoe on your foot, EVER! Then the rest was just PLAIN ugly. Not a little UGLY, I am talking horrendously UGLY, like take my eyeballs out and dunk them in Clorox bleach UGLY. I am not even going to bring up the terrible make my ears bleed, flute music they were playing in the Dillards.
Now I might have understood a few ugly things but I felt like I was at the UGLY mall. I just knew candid camera was following me. And you know it was some ugly crap when I the queen of buying shoes, did not ever TRY a pair on!
On the bravo channel you can watch Tim Gunns guide to style and he will tell you that a trench coat is one of the ten items you should have in your closet. Living in the woods in Florida I have no occasion to wear one, so in turn I do not own one. Well I hope that everyone that buys clothes from that mall, listens to Tim and buys a trench coat. At least that way I will not be subjected to such ugly crap. In the words of Tim Gunn "Make it Work People"!!